"The Night I Became a Russian Ballerina" by Jo Blaylock

Many years ago while working at KTBC Radio/Television station, there was a local celebrity called Cactus Pryor who used to entertain large conventions by pretending to be a Russian General or some other character. He had a very lovely lady who would also pretend to be his Russian Ballerina wife. In the end it would be revealed who they really were and all would be completely surprised. 

Well, his “Russian Ballerina wife” became quite pregnant so was unable to attend the next Engineer’s conference with him so he asked me to be the wife for the night. I tried to dress the part and the night came and I found that I was to talk jibberish to him pretending to be Russian without understanding English. Well believe me standing next to him, the ultimate comedian and pretending not to understand was probably the hardest thing I had ever done. He was trying to make me laugh but I bit the sides of my mouth and made it through the night.

Evidently, as he told the audience, I was recently released from a Russian prison. I had been imprisoned for my political beliefs. Then it was my turn to stand on stage and speak into the microphone and say: “I vant to tank you for beink so kint to me” and to my amazement, I was given a standing ovation. Needless to say, he was not too pleased that it was me that got the standing ovation.  No, I never was ever a Russian Ballerina wife again!

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